Thursday, November 01, 2012

Definitely Insane

We’re moving this month.  The house closing is set for the 6th.  I am still not completely packed.  What am I signing up for? NaBloPoMo

Actually, I have my reasons.  Here’s a background story:  I have a tendency to be really insecure about insisting on something, telling myself I can “live with it” or “make it work somehow.”  It’s sort of the “adapt and overcome” philosophy of the Marines, without the “overcome” part.  Then I will spend miserable years wishing I had insisted on what I wanted.  For example, yesterday we had to go to Amarillo because I had bought a washer and dryer on layaway from Sears so that it would be held until I was ready for it.  To get delivery next week, I had to make the last payment in person in the store, rather than on-line.  Of course, we went by the house.  My son and I went inside; my hubby concentrated on wiring, plumbing, and sewer cleanouts and other exterior things.  We had to view the bathrooms from the doorways because they had just put sealer on the grout, and the carpet layers were there.  Yes, carpet!  I noticed that the space that was tiled for under the kitchen dining area seemed smaller than I had anticipated.  And there was no way that the table could be centered under the pendant fixture without having about 1/3 of the table on the carpet.  At least, I thought I noticed that.  Instead of investigating, I assumed  that either the untacked down carpet was covering about 3 more feet of tile or that I could change the pendant fixture to a flush ceiling fixture, scoot the table against the window, and “make it work.”  We drove home after lunch, and it took me all afternoon to decide that I should have investigated and then insisted that more tile be added.  So today, after a sleepless night because I don’t like confrontations, we drove back, I met with the project manager, who immediately saw what I was talking about and said “no problem at all.”

I was so pumped because that went well that I asked for one more change in the kitchen.  I know that above-the-range microwaves are the latest thing, but I’m a little short and my range of motion in one shoulder is not the best so I had told them I didn’t want one.  They were nice enough to build in an under cabinet spot for the microwave.  However, I really didn’t want to have to lean over to get things out of a low microwave or try to read the numbers.  Sailing on my euphoria about the tile victory, I asked them to put doors on that cabinet section and I’m sticking the microwave on the corner of the cabinet at a convenient height. 

I know that’s a boring story, but the point is that I do this all the time about all sorts of things.  I settle.  Of course, there are times when everyone has to or needs to settle, but I do it to avoid confrontation and then I spend the rest of the lifetime of whatever it is seething with unexpressed resentment.  I feel good about today.

Anyway, the reason I am going to attempt to blog every day during this stressful time is so that I can concentrate on having at least one pleasant story to tell each day at a time when it is easy to be tired and snarky.  Even if it’s something very small.

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